Be Honest: Are You on the Rebound?
At a recent trip to Dollarama, we saw this. A single tear rolled down my cheek.
But we also saw the red and pink stuff that was absolutely expected. And you don't have to leave home to find it; even the GAP is sending emails with L-O-V-E in the subject line. Yep, it's that holiday we love to hate: Valentine's Day. So the question is...do you even want to be ready for it? Or are you kind of on the rebound from the whole thing?
A manufactured holiday...but aren't they all
As a hopeless romantic, I was always baffled by seemingly happy couples who turned their backs on Valentine's Day. After all, who doesn't love flowers, candy and a nice steak dinner? Why not actively look for excuses to spread love and give gifts? Sure, it's a commercial holiday...kind of like the way most of us celebrate Christmas.
I could understand if you were single - like everyone, I've been there, besieged by marketing messages of unworthiness that I stuffed with the help of a trip to Shopper's Drug Mart on the 15th for half price chocolate. But happy couples? Maybe it was the holiday's hyped up expectations: You wanted the Heart of the Ocean from Titanic, but got a box of Ferrero. You wanted to be taken seriously, but got a thong. You wanted to end child labour, but got a box of Ferrero.
I'm all about not being let down. We have all had enough disappointment lately; if you want a steak dinner now, you have to cook it at home, or else it comes tepid in a takeout box from Skip. But is that really any reason to hate on V-Day? Personally, I'd rather celebrate love in whatever form it takes.
Self love isn't selfish
One thing being single has taught me: I can buy my own damn Ferrero! It's hard to rebound from the idea, cultured into us early on, that we need a significant other to be whole and happy. In trying to unlearn this unhelpful mindset, I've been doing a lot of self-work - thanks, YouTube experts! Everyone has a slightly different take on the rebound, but there are definitely some common themes when it comes to being happy with or without romantic love. You guessed it: Self love, and the natural actions of self care that flow from loving oneself, is the focus.
Here's what the experts recommend, no matter what you are trying to rebound from.
How to rebound successfully - from love, lockdown, or whatever
Set or revisit your personal standard. Many of us crave approval from a partner - even a casual partner - to feel better, but since it's harder than ever during lockdown to meet people, relying on the external has its limits. Work towards appreciating and approving of yourself, treating yourself how you want to be treated in a relationship and focusing on developing the very qualities you wish would show up at your door carrying a bouquet of long stems.
Be patient. Don't assume you have already met everyone you are ever going to meet in your life! If you keep settling for whoever happens to be available, you'll always be too occupied to notice what (or who) really makes your spirit soar.
Work on your purpose and vision. Nothing distracts you from greatness (or even daily responsibilities) like that heady feeling of being in love...but unless you have your own thing going on, you will only be working on an endless series of sideshows. Pursue your dreams, hone your skills, set those goals, and get busy.
Get help and healing. Whether it's childhood trauma, destructive patterns or baggage from toxic relationships, take the time to finally confront, work through and heal what's holding you back to free up the energy you need to reach your full potential.
Pour into your current relationships. Your kids need you! Your friends need you! Random people on the street need you! It's harder to connect these days, but in the end, we all need relationships to thrive. Nourish these relationships, not just THE relationship.
Rebound doesn't mean ricochet
When it comes to romance, everyone knows it's not healthy to leap straight into a new relationship just to get over the previous one. However, in every other aspect of life, the speed at which you can rebound from negative circumstances will determine your success. Who says you can't rebound successfully? My goal is to rebound from everything and keep it moving. One way to do that: Share the love.
Here at SaltZ&Co we are all about the rebound. After missing every holiday launch for the last 9 months, we finally got you with a beautiful new bath bomb gift set! Valentine's Day 2021 is all about celebrating the people in your life. Friends. Coworkers. Children. Employees. People who touched your life in some way, people who were there for you when you needed it.
Oh yeah..put yourself on that list. If handmade spa bath products are not your bag, thank you for reading this far, but you probably need to find a different way to celebrate! Why not write down 3 things every day you are proud of yourself for. Start saving money, any amount, every single day to pay yourself first. Stand up for yourself today. You are so worth it.
Here's to loving you.
Happy Valentine's Day from SaltZ&Co!